By: Maria Perez Cortez
Heritage: Salvadoran-American
Profession in U.S.: Student
The smell of pupusas, the sound of Los Hermanos Flores playing in the background, and Salvadoran flags throughout the apartment. From an early age, I was able to appreciate my culture and where my family came from. Both of my parents immigrated from El Salvador three years before the end of the country’s Civil War. I was born the youngest of five children and always felt left out because I was the only American-born child in my family. Even though I was never fully able to relate to anyone in my family – I am genuinely proud of my Salvadoran heritage.
My early childhood consisted of my father telling me stories from when he was my age. He would mention the fact that he had to drop out of school at the age of eight in order to support his entire family. These stories were always told on our daily walks to my elementary school. By the end of these stories, he would always tell me, “no quiero que te pasa lo mismo. Quiero que tu vayas a la universidad.”
I don’t want the same to happen to you. I want you to go to university.
This, along with my father’s stories, were my daily pep-talks all throughout my adolescence. At the age of eight, I was extremely determined to go to college and find a well-paying job. That specific moment in my life was always in the back of my mind as I succeeded through high school.
I have been fortunate enough to be the first of my family to attend an American university (my oldest sibling graduated from a university in El Salvador). I finally got a chance to make my entire family proud. Although I'm proud of myself, I have gone through several hurdles throughout my entire college career. Anxiety, panic attacks, and a constant internal debate over my culture. Being surrounded by people from completely different cultures has made it difficult for me to stay in touch with mine. It was as if I was trying to erase where I came from in order to “fit in.”
This internal debate drew to a close earlier this month when I had a meeting with one of my professors. As I sat in their office crying, unsure of what to do with a twenty-page paper due a week before graduation, my professor tried (and failed) to make me feel better. By the end of the meeting, they left me even more stressed and upset. The root of my anger? While in the process of attempting to make me feel better, a stereotype was thrown into the conversation:
You’ll also have to get your papers in order before graduation.
An automatic assumption of my life. A professor of mine, someone I had looked up to, believed I was an undocumented student. Initially, I was completely shocked. It was the first time someone had even given me a comment like this. I didn’t know how to react other than telling this professor that I was actually born in the United States. Surprised by my response, they didn’t know what to say other than something along the lines of ‘that these times are tough and we should all be pre-cautious.’
Filled with anger, I had lost motivation. No matter what I do, I will still be considered as “the other.” This was just the beginning. I could get more stereotypical comments in the near future – there’s nothing I can do about it. It left me at a loss, so I had to take a break from my regular routine in order to reevaluate my thoughts on hiding my culture.
I thought of all of the times I shared a piece of my culture to my white friends. How excited they were to know more about where I came from and how I grew up. The amount of times I’ve caught them listening to ‘Sabrosa Cumbia’ by Marito Rivera Y Su Banda Bravo, or the look on their faces whenever they came over and saw my mom cooking a typical Salvadoran dinner. I don’t have to be ashamed of my cultural background. I’m not a stereotype. I’m a blend of two different cultures. That’s what makes me unique. No stereotype can tear me down.
• • •
- Maria Perez Cortez is a Salvadoran-American student at SUNY Purchase College in Purchase, NY. Graduating May 2017 with a BA in arts management, she hopes to give back to her hometown of Flushing, NY, by opening a non-profit community art center. Raised in the borough of Queens, Maria has grown to be accepting and open-minded to different cultures and lifestyles.
- Images courtesy of Maria Perez Cortez.
- Follow Maria on Twitter: @valerianaaaax and Instagram: @lil.amargada
Hey Esmeralda. Thank you for liking my piece! I’m glad to have inspired you 😊😊😊
Woww Im impressed by your courage, Im an inmigrant myself (salvadorian too) and I have a US born daughter, who I hope to raise the way your parents raised you, very proud of you girl, you got this cipota 🙏🏽😊🙌🏼👏🏼🇸🇻 Congratulations!!