By: Adriana Erika Gonzalez
Heritage: Xicana/Mexican-American
Profession in U.S.: Student
“It is about time that we understand that we are the Force that holds the Star Wars universe together.” – Junot Diaz
One of the most important movies I ever saw as a kid introduced me to a galaxy far, far away, in which rebel freedom fighters struggled against an empire that spanned hundreds of thousands of star-systems. This story about heroes, whose alliance was forged from loyal friendships and their commitment to principles of justice, demolished any horizon I had of the universe. Like many other sci-fi lovers, I became a galactic senator, a pilot, a smuggler, and a jedi in my imagination. I simply had to ask myself one question to begin the dream. Who would I be among the stars? These reflections always left me feeling like I could be all the things this beloved universe was still missing. It was only until I experienced the tangible glimpses of my community in Rogue One, in conjunction with all these fantastical elements, that I felt my universe could meet the one already written, and be more loved.
I was born the oldest of four children to a Mexican immigrant father and a U.S. born Mexican mother. I grew up speaking both Spanish and English, and although the latter is much more advanced, I cannot imagine addressing my abuelos without the former. My favorite dish to eat is pozole, and if I was forced to choose my favorite dessert, it would be the savory cinnamon-rich arroz con leche that I would eat for days straight when I was younger. Not that the language or my food tastes indicate authenticity; these everyday interactions and meals simply established my sense of reality. A tasty one. Even though they were unnamed to me as such, these rituals were small commemorations of my culture I participated in. But it was only until I started college that I discovered a terminology and a genealogy that contributed to my lived experiences.
If you asked me two-three years ago, I would have not known how to describe my identity. Not only because I lacked the conventional language to do so, but because I was unaware that my community back home was not the social landscape of the entire nation. I was always surrounded by nopalitos. Trips to Mexico were our summers and winters. Bougainvillea always present around the gates of the little white house my grandparents own in Monterrey. My friends hailed from Guanajuato, Michoacán, el D.F., with names as long as our histories. As a child, I did not grasp how special these givens were or why they deserved to be important.
My college history classes thus became the first orators of my history and served as an intimate introduction to figures only my abuelo would talk about. Trading my purple-walled room for the blank walls of my dorm room was the beginning of naming.
Who would I be among the stars?
A Xicana galactic senator, a pilot, a smuggler, and a jedi.
Even though I have my own criticisms of Chicanismo, I still align strategically with the ideals of the movement. It was an identity and historical moment I explored through my college classes that seemed to piece together components of my being, that my classes prior to my first year has all but erased. Now I understand, decry, cherish both the sacrifices and historical connection I share with kids who or whose immigrant families connect us through spacetime to a place as complex in character as Latino América. A New World paradox. Being both the conqueror and the conquered made so much sense when I thought about my favorite films: I could be tugged by the dark and the light side of the Force but the fact was I had to deal with both simultaneously.
I make a connection between Star Wars and my identity because growing up in this galaxy now more than ever I feel like I am fighting an Empire. I think this is a very difficult time for many time-traveling families. To fight against such great an enemy, I have had to meditate, relearn myself, choose best where to exert my energy. Because this radical process of naming elements of my life, once without, did not only name poems, poets, historical events, music types and cultural patterns. It named a lot of pain and it begs many more questions about the future.
Although I cannot predict the course to which we head, I continue to nurture my roots and name. When I first learned to write, I was taught that I existed as Adriana Erika Gonzalez Cantú and ‘til this day, this is name I would sign to anything of which I am most proud.
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- Adriana Erika Gonzalez is a junior at Pomona College studying Public Policy and Latin American Studies. She grew up in Waukegan, Illinois, an hour north of Chicago. Writer, Activist, Cumbia Queen. These are all the titles she would like to earn someday.
- Follow Adriana on Twitter: @roguexicana